Thursday, May 15, 2014

How to Know You've Met the One

How Do You Know You've Met "The One" ??

That is the million dollar question. 

I always wondered how I would know that I've met my husband when he came along. Everyone says "you'll just know". Which is funny because they said that about labor--and I know plenty of women who have false labor and think it's the real deal. My point is it's not a cookie cutter answer. But I will share with you how I knew I had met the one, and you can go from there. (If you missed my previous post about finding true love read it here).

So how do you avoid "false labor"?

I had prayed very specifically about my future spouse. I had my "list" that I had made and prayed over. I had wanted not just my family to have peace about him but my home Pastor.  Now my Pastor didn't like every guy I dated. Smart man. I trusted and valued his opinion, and knew he would seek the Lord on my behalf along with my parents. If all those standards were met, then I would know God had brought me my prince.

And now for a short romantic story.   

How do two people who grew up on opposite sides of the world (Siberia and Florida) end up together?!

Well once upon a time...

There was this Starbucks barista who dreamed of finding her prince charming. Did he even exist outside of her mind? Eh, probably not. So let's just drink espresso and sing happy songs.

Then one day in her third and last year in college, this handsome young Bible College student came inside her Starbucks. He ordered a mocha frappuccino. (Now fellas, if you're trying to impress a girl at Starbucks, don't order a frappuccino--it's way girly.) He came in and smiled at her, took his drink and left her in a daze. He's pretty cute, she thought, but he's probably just some weird missionary kid. Back to reality she quickly came, and rinsed out the blender used to make his super girly drink.

The next Wednesday, he came back to Starbucks but this time through the drive thru. Same order. He's losing his man points fast, she thought. She said her hello's to him and watched him drive off into the sunset. Okay so no sunset, just dusty air and fumes, it was Oklahoma after all.

This handsome man began to come through weekly but would never say more then hello. She wanted to get to know him better but knew he had to be the initiator.

Then one chilly night, she went to go check her mail. And who was coming out of the mail room as she was about to go in? You guessed it. They stood outside for over an hour just talking. The poor Floridian was freezing but she wasn't going to let that show. They eventually said goodbye and headed back to their dorms. The smitten barista couldn't help but smile all the way back to her room.

Then her roommate who knew her way too well, asked why she was so cold. She couldn't keep from smiling as she said she was outside talking to someone. Her roommate quickly asked WHO?!?!

The barista looked around to make sure no one else was listening and whispered, James Pranger. They were both shocked and giggled.

What she didn't know was that this handsome man had been praying for the Lord's will about pursuing her for 7 months. He then spoke with his best friend about it who wisely said he had better let her know he was interested soon. Which was a good thing because she was graduating later that spring.

So he prayed very specifically that if it was God's will that God would allow them to have a conversation with her that day. It was the week of missions conference at church and they had busy schedules and a conversation just didn't happen. The sad handsome man thought God was closing the door.

Then later that night, like the sun shining on a cloudy day, there she was. She walked in the door, her hair gently flowing in the wind, and took the only available seat which was right across from him. There they sat with a group of friends at Chili's making small talk. And he knew that this was God's will. Later that week, he asked her if he could talk to her after church. She agreed and nervously met him.

After about 20 long agonizing minutes of shooting the breeze, he finally got to the point.

So you are probably wondering why I asked you out here, he said

Playing it cool she said, Oh, that, um sure what's up?

Well I have been praying about it, and well... the Lord has shown me that... you're coming on too strong. 

What?!!! She screamed inside. This missionary boy was about to get a taste of her mind. Coming on too strong?? I never even --- her thoughts were quickly interrupted by his laughter.

He smiled as he said, Hallie and Buddy told me you were nervous and that I should play a joke on you. 

Mental note to self--never ever tell Hallie anything ever ever ever again.

I'm not nervous, she said trying to sound convincing as she smiled. Who knew he had it in him to play a joke? This may be the beginning of a beautiful thing, she thought. And it was!

After that day, they began their friendship of getting to know each other better. (And he did call her Dad for permission.) The girl was very nervous about her new friendship/relationship. She was worried it was too good to be true and wanted to make sure the Lord was in it. She kept praying and trusting the Lord.

Then as they were out to lunch with her brother and the vice president of the college, she knew. She knew he was the one she was going to one day marry.


I can't explain it, but it was then that the Lord impressed on my heart that this was the man I was going to marry. I had this overwhelming peace flood my heart. I was excited and scared all at the same time.

Then came my college graduation and for the family to meet him, even my Pastor! My family all loved James, as I knew they would. Then my Pastor later told me that he believed I found someone worthy of my hand. My Pastor would never say something like that unless he meant it. And it was reconfirmed to me, that this man was one day going to be my husband. Now if only he knew that...

The Lord assured James that I was the one after we had a long conversation one night about the future. He asked me how I felt about one day going to Russia if that's where the Lord would lead us.  I was completely honest with him and told him I had surrendered to whatever God's will for my life was. If that was missions, then I believed God would work on my heart and show me in His time.

And the rest is history!
And for the record James loves his coffee black which is just how I like it. He later told me I just made him nervous. I like that I made him nervous :) He made me nervous too. 

So how do you know that you've met the one? 

For me it was when God gave me that overwhelming peace. It was a peace like when I accepted Christ as my Savior. I knew without a doubt this was the one God had for me. I knew when my family and Pastor also had peace that this was God's will for my life.

Marriage is not something to take lightly. It's not a game to be played like dating has turned into. Marriage is the most important decision a person can make outside of accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior. Who you marry effects your entire future. So please be wise about it. Don't do it alone. Have others you trust who will pray on your behalf for God's perfect will for your life concerning a mate. Seek counsel from your family and Pastor or another godly leader that you trust. When it's the right one, God will give everyone peace.

And when you stand before God on your wedding day and become one, you will be so thankful you did things God's way. There is nothing like being married to the right one. God's way is always best.

James and I have been happily married for four years today! We have had quite the journey together these past few years. It hasn't always been rose petals and happy songs, but through unconditional love and hard work we have our happily ever after.

My next post will be on "And they lived happily ever after, until..."
Practical ways to help keep your marriage fresh and happy long after the "I do's" are said.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it [are] the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

Until Next Time,


  1. My mother always told me I'd know. She called it "calm excitement." You said "peace." I say, "Exactly!" :o) LOVE a true, pure love story! Thank you for sharing.

  2. One more thing: if more girls would check the guy out with both their parents and the pastor, there would be less very sad stories. Thank you for sharing that, too!

  3. Such a sweet story Amber! My husband prayed for a wife for 30 years!!! After becoming a widow, I prayed for a husband for 12 years. Eventually, my pastor ended up meeting my then future husband in person before I ever did. And he approved. My hubby then ended up going through my pastor for all permissions--to write to me, to call me, to court me, and then to marry me. Since I had no father, I put myself (even as a single adult woman) under my pastor. If every girl would seek counsel from her parents and pastor, we would have a lot more stronger, happier marriages! Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading your blog.

    1. Lori, that is so sweet! 30 years! Wow! And that is great how you still upheld your standards after being widowed. What a wonderful testimony of God's love and grace. And thank you for the sweet comments you always leave!

  4. I love reading about God given love stories! I also LOVE hearing about men "manning up" to be the initiator and laying it out there instead of playing games. My hubby had nothing to go on (from me) when he talked to me about pursuing a relationship. I always thought it should a lot of courage and respect that he cared enough not to fish or play heart games. Happy Anniversary!

    1. Thank you Beth! Yes, he was pretty shy and nervous around me. And I thought to myself, I would like to get to know him, but I had promised myself to not befriend a guy. So I didn't think about it after that. I was graduating in a few months and just thought I would move back home to Florida and go from there. It's really neat how everything all worked out in God's timing. I'm so thankful for James! And that he got over his nervousness!
      Our husbands sure know a good thing when they see it, right?! Haha! :)

  5. Why do that DO that??? My husband asked to start a relationship (exactly what I had prayed for, not just to date around). Then he took me on my very first ever date (his too) to the Christmas banquet. Then the next day he came to me and told me that he felt that God was leading that we were not right for each other. It blew my mind, and I was flabbergasted because after praying for almost a year, I had been so sure. I schooled my features though and managed to get out an "okay" that sounded semi normal. Then he grinned and said, "Just kidding." It was not one bit funny and I felt like slapping him, but I didn't! :) I just decided that nervous guys must have a really warped sense of humor! Funny thing was he was counseled to do it too. Ahhhhhh! But anyway, I am still married to him after almost 8 years, and I love him with all of my heart! And I knew too, even before anything started. God spoke to my heart and said, "That is the man you are going to marry, and you are going with him to Kenya someday." And I had peace even before I started liking him. Strange and yet beautiful how the Lord works.

    1. Hahaha they like to keep us on our toes that's all! Help keep us humble. Love is great! It's so special the Lord gave us such wonderful men to love and cherish until death do we part!

  6. Thank you sooooo much for this post! I am a 20 year old and just starting the look for the right one. At this time there is a young man that my parents and pastor all think would be great for me, but he is taking his time! LOL This post just reminded me to wait and if he is the right one for me, the Lord will move him when we are both ready for marriage! Thanks again!

    1. Awe you are so welcome! I just praise the Lord it could be a blessing to you. Yes, the right one is worth the wait! And if he's taking his time then just be patient :). It's good he's being wise and seeking the Lord ( well I'll just assume that's why haha). And if not, then God has someone even better for you! It is hard to wait especially when you think you're ready. But it's when we least expect it that it happens!

    2. I am assuming he is praying! LOL He has come to our English service every Wednesday now! That is huge since he goes to our Spanish service, but he isn't Spanish! (his dad started our Spanish church but he is American, we just needed one and his dad knew Spanish so he started it! ) So I am just waiting for him to be able to talk to me around people! LOL if there isn't a lot of people around, like at a ministry we do together, he is totally fine with talking to me and teasing me! We will see! :) Thanks again!