Tuesday, May 13, 2014

How To Find True Love!

Hollywood makes romance seem flawless and simple. It puts unrealistic ideas in our heads of what a relationship should be or how to find true love. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with Disney princess fairytale stories. However, we do need to teach our children the difference between reality and a fairytale. Does that mean there is no happily ever after? Not at all. It will just take work and waiting! There's more to marriage then just the wedding and "I do's". So how does one find there Prince Charming or Princess?

I'm in a romantic reminiscing mood because our 4th year anniversary is coming up on May 15. And I wanted to share our story with all of you to be an encouragement to those of you who are still waiting on your prince or princess. I will do my best to be brief even though there's so much to say on the subject. 
I, like many of you, dreamed of meeting my true love. I would fantasize of spending my life with my perfect prince and having a great life together. The only problem was the prince, he was missing! I always wondered how I would know I met the right one. 
I dated in high school and really enjoyed having a boyfriend. But if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't date- I would wait. (You can read here about my opinion on guy/girl relationships and where I stand on the issue. Can guys and girls be just friends?
Why? Because the purpose of dating is marriage. Is a 13,14,15,16,17 ready for marriage? I sure wasn't! Maybe you're the exception, but that's between you and your parents. Okay I won't get started on that topic...but the point of me sharing that with you is this. Dating in high school only left me with regrets. I gave away a piece of my heart or emotions with each relationship. I wasn't ready to be married thus I wasn't ready to date.

So here I waltz into Bible College, determined not to marry someone there. I was a bit cynical of boys by this point. I had my heart broken and was determined to wait until my prince came along. And to be honest, I was worried about marrying someone in Bible College who wasn't what they seemed to be. I didn't want to marry a hypocrite or have a mediocre marriage. I didn't think it would be possible to meet my prince-- especially in Oklahoma of all places! (No offense to my Okie friends... I now love and adore Oklahoma-who knew?!)
I knew that God had put a desire in my heart to one day be married. And I knew that God would provide my husband in His time not my own. I didn't want to "date" anymore. I didn't want any more male friendships. I wanted to wait for the one God had for me because he was worth waiting for. So I decided to surround myself with more girl friends and get involved with anything I could in the ministry. I didn't want to miss out on my single life by pining for or looking for a relationship. 
What to do in the "Waiting Time". 
In life, God gives us seasons. If you're not married you are in the single season. Don't waste your single season by getting involved in wrong relationships even if they do seem "right". Simply wait. Wait on the Lord. Enjoy this season of your life. God will bring your prince or princess to you in His perfect timing. 
Have fun with your friends of the same gender and make lots of memories with them that won't bring regret. I don't have any framed photos of my old guy friends around my house, but I have plenty of pictures and memories of my girl friends. I don't reminisce of the memories I made with my past boyfriends. That would be awkward... And trust me I don't want to hear about the great time James had with his past girlfriends either. (Yes, we both dated and wish we could do it all over again. But we can't, so we share our testimony with you so you don't have to make the same mistakes.)
What I did do in college, was start a journal to my future husband. This helped me write down all those girly emotional romantic things that I wanted to say to him. And helped me focus on Christ and waiting for him. 

It's a simple thing, wait on the Lord. But it's one of the most hardest things to do! Trust me the right one is worth the wait! So hang in there my friends, marriage lasts a lifetime! 

How great would it be to have only dated your spouse? That would be so special! My brother's first girlfriend was his wife. This year they celebrate ten years of marriage, and have one of the sweetest marriages I have ever witnessed- and four crazy wonderful kids! I can guarantee you he doesn't regret waiting on the right one. 

So how does one find true love? They don't. You simply wait for true love. Wait for the Lord to bring the right spouse your way. And when he or she comes along, you will be so thankful you waited! 

How do you know you've met the one? Find out in my next post! 
In my next post, I will share how two very unlikely people were brought together in the Lord's perfect timing! Who would have thought a weird missionary kid from Siberia and a Floridian would end up very happily married?! Oh the Lord's sense of humor! 

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it [are] the issues of life.Proverbs 4:23

Until Next Time,


  1. Awesome, but you left us hanging. This is very personal to me because my daughter just got engaged at Heartland yesterday. We have been able to meet him, he is a wonderful future pastor from New York and after they get married they will be interning in Tulsa for 2 years. He is going there right away after graduation. They have done this very thing and it is amazing to me. They waited and I cannot believe the hand of God in this relationship. I grew up in the world and battle things from the world from my past of not living this Godly life. I am 52 and still trying to find what the Lord wants of me. Praise the Lord my husband is a Godly man by my side but this is not how we started our relationship. I have 6 kids and I want so badly for all of them to go down this road and see the blessings. Can't wait to read the rest. Keep up the posts, there are people like me who are yearning for these kinds of Godly examples.

    1. Congratulations to your daughter! That is very exciting, I'm sure she is over the moon excited! That's great that he has a plan for after he graduates. That is amazing that they were able to wait. Gives me hope for our children. God's grace is amazing. And it's nice to know our children aren't bound to make the same mistakes we did in our relationships. I'm so happy to hear it could be a blessing to you. It's my prayer that others can use this as a tool to help encourage young ladies to do things the right way! Congratulations again to your daughter and your family!

  2. Sweet. I can hardly wait for the next installment!

  3. haha "weird missionary kid from Siberia".... don't tell James, but I remember that kid. So glad God brought the two of you together! As unlikely as it may have seemed at first, you two are awesome together! Love ya Amber!!

    1. Awe thanks, Barrie! Yes, unlikely pair but a perfect match! And he wasn't a weird missionary kid after all. Ha! Just love my guy!! Thanks for the sweet message, Barrie! Love you too!!

  4. I second this completely, after 10 wonderful years married to your brother our relationship only grows stronger. ;) My heart's desire was not to experience the heartache that I saw so many girls go through during their dating years. I asked the Lord to keep my "dating" relationship simple by allowing my first boyfriend to be my husband. Many around me thought that this was an impossible goal, but God had other plans. It can be hard in your teen years to see other girls with special someone's celebrating Valentines Day but know that God has a greater plan with no regrets if you'll have patience!

    1. I was wondering if you would read this! I just love you and my brother. You two are an inspiration. And I think someone is volunteering to write a guest post for me?!! :D I would love for you to write a post in regards to your marriage! We shall talk. Start thinking and praying!