Many of you know the roller coaster ride of emotions a pregnant woman goes through during her pregnancy. Whether you are the poor bystander who bears the brunt of this roller coaster or the one on the roller coaster---it's never a fun ride. Some women are less discreet about their emotional state while others do their best to put on a happy face. I choose to put on a happy face and pray hard. (Notice I said "choose" it is a choice!).
So I will confess I had one of those days the other day. I was so emotional and cried a lot.
It started with a cute little toddler waking up way earlier than he was supposed to. I decided to be a good wife and get up with him so James could sleep. This meant no run, so no happy endorphins for me. All was going well, until the little guy became a handful. I was starting to get frustrated at him but doing my best to keep it in. James had to run an errand, so that meant me alone with the booger. While James left, I was able to squeeze in some time to read my Bible and pray. I didn't want to take out my frustrations on James because he had done nothing wrong. It wasn't his fault we birthed a booger. So I gathered myself together, prayed and wrote him a nice note.
*Insert deep breath and a refreshed zeal for the day.
Then 15 minutes later...
I was being a typical girl and let my thoughts get the best of me. And then I became emotional again! We were now on our way to a church picnic and our drive was all of 15 minutes. I had 15 minutes to pull it all together again! Poor James had no idea why I was about to start crying and was doing his best to be supportive. Then the water works came and just flowed. I must admit it felt good to cry. Crying is not something I do often, nor do I usually enjoy it.
I was able to pull it together for the four hours we were at the picnic and all was well. I cried more later. James had been asking me what was wrong. But I knew if I answered him in my emotional state, I would regret it later. It would have been so easy for me to find something "wrong" with James or our marriage or whatever and take it out on him.
I believe at these moments Satan starts creeping lots of thoughts in our heads. He would like nothing more then for us to be at odds with each other. After all if he could get us wrapped up in ourselves, our focus would be off of what it needs to be, reaching others and being used of God.
I reminded myself of what was true and tried hard not respond or react off of my feelings. James truly had done nothing wrong, and it would be wrong of me to blame him or treat him like he had done something wrong. I knew it was my pregnancy hormones just getting the best of me and James did as well.
So later, after I had taken a nice long nap, he asked me what was wrong again. I began to cry again as I told him. I was able to sort out mentally and emotionally just why I was feeling so bad and not target my husband. We had a nice talk and I felt better by the end of it. I was thankful I hadn't exploded at him or blamed him for my emotional state.
I wish I could say I have mastered the art of controlling my emotions all the time, but I can't say that. But why is it so easy to target those closest to us? It's easy for us to put on a happy face for others, but we go all crazy on the ones we love. Why? Probably because we know (hope) they aren't going anywhere. What if we treated our spouses like a good friend rather than a punching bag or place to dump all our baggage on? Okay ladies, here are some simple steps to helping you keep it in check! Why? Because our husbands deserve it and the Bible commands us to respect our husbands no matter how we are feeling.
How to Keep it in Check when you Want to Jump out the Window: